okies,

so actually have a few moments to write (Eryn's napping, Aiden is getting sticky with rice crackers)

I was So completely disgusted with our provincial government,  here in B.C. last friday when they BLATENTLY abused their power and gave themselve all a MINIMUM of a 15% raise (most got more). It just replused me. They spend a pitance of time disgussing the 700+ cases of dead CHILDREN in the province, under the reign of the liberals, that went completely uninvestigated, they just cut funding and reorganised and left them for forgotten, sickening, then they close that topic for discussion and move to give themselves all raises, cause, ya know, they're doing such a wonderful job......  excuse me while I go vomit.

 

 Funny thing is, actually, more sickening than funny, when the Liberals came to power, they immediatly all got raises and periodic raises are in their collective agreement/ contracts, whatever, already. GOD they digust me. I've lost faith in our political system. And the worst part is, in light of the 'Gomery Report' that uncovered the national liberal party's deep corruption, stealing hundreds of millions of dollrs from Canadians, to line the pockets of their corporate bed-pals, so...in the end of it, it really doesn't matter where we live, the corruption is so rampant, even in our very recent municipal election there was much talk of schemes and corrutpion, can't stop shaking my head when I think about it. The States is just as bad, but more guns and intolerance down there. So, I feel pretty helpless in that regard. I'll still go vote, but cast my vote randomly cause it won't make a diff anyways. I don't trust anything about the government, I think they are all greedy, power mongers  that love to talk 'the talk' but NEVER 'walk the walk' and ultimately it's our own fault because we let them get away with it. I just don't know what to do to change it. If I did, I'd probably jump on whatever bandwagon that is, because our system of government and the  way we live our lives as slaves to money and slaves to the government, is obviously not creating a democratic culture.

 

I'd love to buy my own huge island (somewhere warm , of coarse) and spend my millions (when I win the lotto) and create my own little country. If you like you can send me your profile, and I'll consider you for citizenship, so long as you are not some money sniffing corporate stiff.  ;)

 

As a footnote, our public was so outraged at what the provincial government did , that they retracted their Bill #19 and decided that maybe it wasn't approriate to give themselves raises, and some of you may recall that it was just a feww weeks ago the teachers went on a provincial wide strike to demand better workig conditions and fair pay adjustment....they so disgust me, too late the damage is already done.

 

 

The power of sleep is often taken for granted. We sleep when we're tired & wake up feeling better (usually) and don't often consider the power of those few hours of unconciousness.

I, however, am keenly aware of the power and pull of sleep. I am not an insomniac (thank god) I WANT to sleep, but, for a variety of reasons, I am not able to get more than 2-3 hours sleep at a time, without an interruption (there is the odd day where I'll get 4 hours straight sleep). I've been doing this for 2 years now. Nobody tells you, when you have  baby, that the sleep deprivation will last this long. I'm telling you now!!!!

Mind you, if I only had one baby, I would be sleeping thru the night, on a more regular basis, and I wouldn't be writing this blog.  But even then , Eryn doesn't sleep thru the night every night. She has bad dreams, now and then and screams etc.. and lately she's been sick with the croup and up every night.

 

There are other reasons for interrupted sleep. Usually it's Aiden waking me up. He still wants to eat twice thru the night (he goes to bed at 7:30pm and up by 7am)  Lately, he's been gettin' up around 2 or 3 a.m. and whining. I ingnore him because he needs to learn to sleep. Then he gives up whining and starts playing in his crib. Banging on the bed, blowing rasberries, squealing etc..  He did this for an hour last night from 2-3 am.   I put in ear plugs and try to pretend it away.  Usually it doesn't work.  This is when Gary heads for the couch and sleeps the rest the night there.  We even borrowed an air-mattress (thanks Edie!!)  because the couch isn't so comfy. Last night I tired to join Gary on the air-matress, when I couldn't take the noise anymore. But I couldn't sleep on the air-matress either. If you've ever tried to share an air-matress with someone, you know what I mean. It's so sensitive to movement, I swear I could feel it move when Gary was breathing (he's a heavy breather)   (I can her Edie laughing at that as I write it)

 

So, I returned to the bedroom, armed with a big, warm, rice cereal, milk shake. Hoping he would suck it back and drink himself to sleep. Luckily he did.  At this point it's already 4am and I'd been awake since 2 am.  I asked Gary to please let me sleep til 8:30  (he assumed he'd be working from home due to our first snow fall here & that we live on a mtn. side.)  But, Aiden woke up again at 6:30. So I quickly snatched him from his crib and sorta just dropped him into Gary's arms, on the air matress and stumbled back to bed, tossed and turned for a while and was startled awake again at 8:20 am.

I am desperate for sleep, not just a nap, not just catching up, but a real, solid, un interrupted, 8 hours sleep.

I almost feel paniky about it,... like I would if I was dehydrated and needing water, or starving & needing food, or sick and needing medicine.    I NEED SLEEP!!!  My body needs sleep......          sleeeeeeppp.....

 

 

I was very excited to see the snow last night (since I was up so often, I got to check on the progress of snow accumulation)  We had a bit of accumulation, a few cm's.  But now it's freezing, slushy rain. I was really hoping to take Eryn out in the snow after her nap, but it's an ugly, icy mess, so I'll wait 'til it's the nice fluffy stuff. She's still got a lingering cough and I don't need her sick again. What killed me this morning, though, was Gary. I had to laugh my ass off at him. Now, I'd already thought it thru , regarding Eryn & snow. I wasn't going to show it to her until we were ready to go out. BUT Gary, in his finite wisdom, showed her first thing this morning, then all she did for the next 2 hours was whine & cry because she wanted to go outside. She stood at the door crying.  Then he was considering driving in to work anyways (when he knew darn well he was allowed to work from home today) & I thought, aw, nice, he winds her up, then leaves.....

nice.

BUT  he changed his mind  (not sure if it was due to my dark scowling looks....remember I'm sleep deprived)

So, now Eryn's asleep, hopefully she will forget about the snow (we live in a basement, so we have very limited  view of the snow outside) 

 

 

 I got to visit with my old friend, Madison, yesterday. It was so nice, we spent like 9 1/2 hours together yesterday. It was the first time she got to see Aiden, and she hadn't seen Eryn since she was 7lbs, or a week old.  Madison is a dear friend, how we became friends is an entire blog entry unto itself, but we were roomates for years, and she came with me to pick out my puppydog, who is now a 79lb fur ball that is my oldest child (he whines and acts like a 4 yr old)  So we took Sirius (the mutt) for a nice walk in the forest, and Eryn got to run down the trails too. She and Madison played 'hide & seek' around the big old growth tree stumps.  Then we packed up and went out for lunch. We returned home, put kids down for naps, and we ended up chatting the day away. Kids got up again, played, ate dinner, had baths, and went to bed, and we kept 'catching up'  until we realized our 'jolly times' were keeping Eryn awake. She was smitten with Madison and didn't want to leave her company for her bed.

Madison is working full-time in the army-reserves. She's up for promotion for Master Corporal and eventually wants to join 'reg-force' and get into nursing.  She's got a new man in her life, she says he's 'the one'  So I had to tease her about marriage plans and babies.  But she probably won't be into that for another 4-5 years.

 

 

On to other things....

Gary is working on backing-up my comp, problem is, I got some big hard drives (for video rendering) and now I gotta go thru stuff and clean house.  So I have to end this blog now, before I begin my rant on politics and the liberal corruption ( I can't call them the Liberal Government, because it's NOT government).  I'll save that rant for another blog. Gary needs to take the controls over to begin backing up one of my 110gig drives  :P

 

I maynot be able to blog for 2 days, depending on how long the back-up and rebuild take, but we both agree my comp needs new life breathed into it.  cheerios for now, I'll include the pictures though:

 

A few shots fo Eryn & Aiden in mommy& daddy's bed,

some of Eryn & Daddy at 'Go Bananas" for cousin Alex's 5th Birthday

some from our weekend hike where Eryn discovered her reflection in the puddles and played at the playground.

Hope all my American friends & family had a great Thanksgiving!

I made my first, full-on, turkey dinner, all by myself (Edie made the gravy from my turkey/potato stock).

I made it, in part, to celebrate thanksgiving, and also to celebrate that I found my mom's turkey stuffing recipe. I was sure it was gone forever, but I found it. The recipe is at least 4 generations old. So very relieved to find it, needless-to-say.

I began cooking at 8:30am yesterday. Actually, I started the stuffing the day before. The turkey turned out perfect and the stuffing nearly made me cry, tasted just like my mom's, just like I remember. I was so relieved. My only disappointment is that I didn't take a photo of my gloriously golden brown tempting turkey...gobble gobble.

 

We had our friends Edie & David & Lil' Isabella over for dinner. Well, really I wanted them to try my turkey and make sure it was decent. We are havig our 'formal' thanksgiving dinner tonight with Gary's parents. At least I know dinner will taste great and I won't have to cook all day now. :)  David & Edie gobbled with approval!

 

Aside from cooking the whole-live-long-day, I also got a call from the kids talent-agent for more auditions.

So, as soon as the turkey was done, I had to race over to Shoreline Studios for the audition for Aiden. Today Eryn has an audition there as well. Boy, it'd be nice if the kids could earn a lil' money. We could buy Gary a new Mtn. Bike (which he really needs to help maintain his sanity), or pay off some bills. But I really shouldn't spend it before we earn it...so we'll see. We've been on quite a few auditions in the past, and nothin'  has panned-out yet...we'll see if we get a 'call-back'.

 

Aiden had his 6 mo. check up & shots this week. he's the picture of health & perfection. Doc commented on what a white baby we had. I told him he should see how he glows in the dark.  haha

He's going to have very fair skin....or he'll end up covered in freckles, only time will tell.

He took the shots very well. My Doc is also a 'pro' at administering them. He didn't like the 2 needles in the leg at once. He looked at me like WHAT THE F**K WAS THAT! Then I began singnig him a lil' song to distract him, at which point he got it in the other thigh, but only 1 this time. It was over in 15 sec.  So he really didn't have a chance to cry. He was extra tired the rest of the day though, that's about it. Wish Eryn took her shots as well as Aiden does. So, Aiden is in great shape, over 18lbs now. Eryn is over the croup, just a lingering cough, but she's still more tired than usual, still taking 2 naps a day regularly. If she does miss a nap, she's gotta be in bed by 6:30pm or she's not to live with.

 

Finally got a phone call from my long, lost buddy, Madison. She & I were roommates for years (this was all pre-baby & pre-marriage times). She works with the army, so she travels 'round the country lots. It was great to catchup with her. We're supposed to get together this monday. I caught her up on most of the news. When she heard about all the babies & pregnant women, she was relieved she hadn't been in town, because "there MUST be something in the water",  everyone is pregnant or having a baby the past 2 yrs.  She says a big fat' HI 'to everyone she knows, that she hasn't had a chance to call yet. She also lost her phone/contact book, so maybe email her your phone # etc... If you want to reach her  (madicat1212@hotmail.com)  She'll be leaving for Edmonton in Feb. 2006 (it's about a boy) so, she's off again..  <wink>  :)

 

That's what's new this week.

I got some funny photo's:

A few of our pre-thanksgiving test-run. Isabella tried sitting in Aiden's  'Bunbo' but then couldn't get out. She was NOT liking THAT!

Also one of the 2 girlstogether, they have teh samehair-do. Check out the expressions though, too funny.

A picture of Edie with all the kids behind her.

A cute one of Eryn in Aiden's crib, AGAIN (she can climb in herself now)

Another photo of Aiden in his favorite sleeping position.

 

 

 

 

I want to wish my brother,  Andrew Lee , A Happy Happy Birthday! Andrew (he calls himself 'Andy' now, I HATE it :P)  is now 39 yrs. old (ol' man)

 

Unfortunately, Andrew lives several hundred miles away, in Kansas, U.S.A. My brother is a red-blooded American who will never leave his country...which is why he's not living up here in Canada. Which is also unfortunate, because he'd recieve so many more benefits here. I'm assuming his quality of life would be better up here too. Transportation would be easier, medical care would be improved, long term medical prognosis would be better, I think.  But, at least he's carved out his own 'niche' there in Lawerence, Kansas. He's surrounded by many supportive, caring, god-fearing, devoted, faithful, pious, people, who have become his 'family' there. I'm very happy that he's found fufillment in his life. I know my familly all understand how special my brother is, but most other readers wouldn't.

 

My brother is probably one of the biggest inspirations in my life. He has had the hardest life of anyone I personally know. His struggles, from the minute he was born, and still to this day, leave me feeling so humble. Whenever I've felt really down in my life, or felt sorry for myself (we all do at times), or felt that life is unfair, or that things are too difficult, I just think of my brother and that helps me put perspective on things.

My brother was born multiply handicapped. He has many medical/health problems his entire life. My mom always said that when he was born, the doctor's gave him a slim chance at survival. Then when he turned 1yr. old, they said he probably wouldn't live past 5yrs. then when he was 10yrs., they said he probably wouldn't make it to adulthood, now he's 39yrs. old!!!!!   But what inspires me even MORE about my older brother, is that inspite of the obstacles he's had to overcome, he's led an extremely sucessful life. He graduated university, he's worked in his profession for over 10yrs (he's lucky, he's ALWAYS known exactly what it was that he wanted to do as an adult). He's a radio-man. He's been a disc jockey, radio journalist, news reporter, sports reporter and has held many other positions in the field of radio. He's amazing, and he's got a sparkling personality when his 'on-air'   (when he's off-air, he becomes regular 'ol smart-ass, jokster brother)  But 2 years ago, due to down-sizing, he lost his job in radio, and has been unable to find  another suitable job. Finding work is complicated by the fact that he has to do dialysis every other day, in order to stay alive (he is in kidney failure and needs a donor-kidney). That takes up a few hours of his day, and he has to commute there because he is blind as well. He gets minimal benefits living there in Kansas, and seems to just scrape by. He's recently gotten a job at 'Wendy's" to help make ends meet, and because he couldn't find a job in his profession. He's doing what he has to do, to get by.  I won't get into a list of all the health  problems he has, he's not a 'side-show', but his medical records would fill an entire file CABINET.

Throughout his life he's always been a well-liked, funny, prankster, good friend, encouraging to others, and never complains to others about his life.  What an amazing brother. I know our mother was always VERY proud of him! I know I'm not the only person to be inspired by my brother. I wish I had the time to descibe some of the amzing things he's done, to do him fair justice, but it would take me too long..I've known him my whole life. 

 

I know there are people out there that are afraid of handicapped people, or people with disabilities. I know there are attitudes out there that  would prefer it if we didn't keep handicapped or disabled children, when they are born. They would rather let them die or have them aborted when we find an imperfection. If my brother had been born 20 years earlier, he probably wouldn't have survived. The world would be a less colorful place without him then. He's touched more souls and inspired more lives than nearly anyone I know. He's done more with his life than most will ever do. He's a greater example of strength & courage & perserverence than any I know.

OK, he's not a saint, and if I was told 25yrs. ago that I would write all this about him, I'd laugh myself silly (he was a typical annoying older brother, we fought and drove each other mad at times.)   But I'm very proud of my brother and I hope he enjoys his birthday. I haven't been able to see him in about 5 yrs, because he can't travel due to his dialysis (so he hasn't met his niece or nephew yet).

 

Thursday is American Thanksgiving.  I was crying with joy earlier this month when I found my mom's Turkey Stuffing Recipe. I thought it was gone for good, but I found it!!  It's a recipe that's at least 4 generations old (and YES there IS a secret ingredient). As soon as I found it, I spontanously promised myself I was going to make a Thanksgiving dinner, with stuffing....sigh....I promised myself , so now I gotta do the work. I picked up a turkey yesterday, and have to start the preparations today. (The stuffing takes 2 days to make, but it's SOOOOOoo worth it)  So I figure on Thursday, I'll stay inside all day, put the Thanksgiving Day Parade's on TV (like 'old times)  and cook, cook, cook....

 

 

Aside form birthday wishes to Andrew  & my mom's friend Diane <wave to Diane in Ottawa>

I have a few photo's;

I got a few pic's of Aiden sitting in his "Bumbo" seat. He likes being as close to Eryn as he can, when she's playing.

I also met up with Julien & Lauren at a play group nearby. Eryn LOVES the gym equipment. 

Enjoy the photo's

 

 

 

First of all....

I must announce:

On The 17th of Nov.  my Uncle Glenn celebrated his 56th birthday!!!  Happy Birthday Uncle Glenn!!!!
My kids want to wish you:  Happy Birthday Great Uncle Glenn!!! He's with my Cousin Don (his son) and a few other more distant cousins from Ontario,  all together at my Grandma's house in Kelowna. What a nice treat. Wish I could be up there too.

 

 

Saturday morming, Edie & I had our 'game plan' ready. Our scheduled meeting time  was moved up an extra 1/2 hour in order to better achieve our goals. With tickets in hand (we made it for the 'early bird', and empty bags slung over our shoulders, laces tightend, small bills at the ready, by 9am on the nose , we were dashing thru the familliar aisles of the kids-swap meet buildings. I had a couple goals in mind & a budget, but  WOW you can get some good deals the first hour. I got an entire 'little people farmyard' with all accessories, for $10, and it's like new! I also scored a 'bumbo'. If you don't know what that is, I'll try to include a photo of it next blog.

I'd say nearly 40% of the clothes sold at swap meets now, originate from Old Navy, Gap, Please Mum, Gymborie, Mexx, Carters, Roots..all these decent brand names. Lots still have tage on them. I got a few adorable things for Eryn (girls got it made with clothes), but didn't find much of anything for Aiden. I managed to get a few other toys for Eryn. She definately seems more stimulated by the 'big kid toys' rather than only blocks, balls & animals. She loooves the farmyard. Both kids like the Bumbo.

 

Saturday afternoon, we planned to visit Rob & Sheri & their girls. We haven't seen them in sooo long, only because it's nearly an hour drive (or longer) to get out to Maple Ridge from where we are. We were going to try and stay as looong as possible. Before we had kids, we used to hang out there, at their house, nearly every weekend. But since having babies, we don't get out much in the p.m. hours anymore.

 

We decided to take a different route there, so we took the Albion Ferry over the river. It was a nice day, a nice drive (a nice drive thru Surrey doesn't mean it's scenic, it just means there was little traffic..not much of Surrey, is what you'd call, 'scenic'.)Eryn loved the ferry, it was a fun novelty. We only had to wait 1 sailing.

Rob & Sheri live exactly on the other side of the river there.

 

Eryn loved watching, following & playing with Jamie & Alex (5 & 3). Aiden sat in hs bumbo, and rollled around the floor, watching everything, and eventually slept, after he ate). We stayed for dinner (Eryn loved the lasange) We all got to watch Madagascar. Eryn liked the penguins. The lion was a little scary, when he went 'savage'. Then she got to have a looooong bath with the girls. She sure loved playing in their bath with them. She was the last one to finally get out, and I had to drag her out. Finally, it was time for the girls to go to bed. We let Eryn run around a few minutes longer, then tried to wind her down, & got her 'jammies on. We made up a little bed for her and tried to get her to sleep. (Aiden was long asleep by this time) We tried for nearly 40min. to get her to at least lay down.

She was just too wired, having tooo much fun. So we surrendered, packed it in, and headed home (She fell asleep before we got out of Maple Ridge) We were so hoping she'd sleep, then it would have nearly been like 'ol times. But, I think we'll have to wait till she's older (& Aiden too) before we can do that again...sigh...

We sure had fun while we were there though. Thanks for the visit & dinner Rob & Sheri!! <wave>

 

 

 

 

 

PMS really sucks!  I know men kinda shrug at it, and avoid the subject, or find it amusing...but us womens' REALLY don't like it...it turns us into..... The Mad Cave Woman!!  AARRUUGHHH!!!

Anyways, I attribute my reeaaly sucky week to that.

Things are lookin' up though, Aunt Flow is getting ready to pack her bags & leave.

 

A good way to help alleviate PMS, aside from curling up in your nest and being left alone, is definately retail therapy!  Today, I took off to Ikea for a bit ( was able to drop Aiden off with Nana for  1 1/2 hrs), just Eryn & I. It was great with only ONE child, how easy,  in comparison to 2. I let her walk the whole way ('cept at the register). I let her play around on the furniture, and explore, up & down escalators, elevators, chairs, beds, storage units, you name it. She had a great time. I left the store with a storage unit for all the kids toys. The piles of toys around the house was beginning to drive me crazy  (and we don't need that now do we?    hehehehe).

My timing was great, because by the time I was done, Eryn was ready for a nap, and so was Aiden, when I picked him up. So they both slept, and I put my finely hoened (dunno how to spell that one 123) Ikea skills to the test. This storgae unit used +36 big screws, 54 wooden pegs and lots of assembly, but I got it done, toys all separated & organized  into baskets (we'll see how long that lasts...this is the teacher in me..trying to get out..must keep it all organized, like a classroom.)

The great thing is, it's a really sturdy unit, meant to be climbed upon, so eventually, it will serve as a staircase to a bunkbed (we're not quite there yet..). Shopping is  such fun. Something else men usually roll their eyes at..'cept Edie's guy, David, he LOVES shopping (she's lucky).  Anyways, putting Ikea products together properly & sucessfully, always gives me a feeling of competence :) 

 

 

On the Aiden-Front;

 

He's not only got 2 bottom teeth poking above his gums now, but also a top tooth just about to break to the surface,( probably by the weekend). I'm getting a little nervous about this. I was hoping  he'd be like Eryn and not get teeth til he was 10 months old.  Why nervous? Only a breastfeeding mom would 'get it' right away.  <nervously biting nails>  I got a couple photo's of Aiden showing of his 2 bottom teeth (see below). Did I mention he llikes to grab hair? He loves to quickly grab as much hair as he can, into his mighty little fists and pull it all into his mouth. Just when you lean in to kiss his sweet little cheeks, that are bright red from teething..then YANK! he pulls with all his might!  He's even gotten Eryn's hair a couple times, when she's leaned over him. He took her down & brought her right to the floor. She was NOT happy! Got him weighed this week, he's nearly tripled his birth weight. He's 18 lbs already. Eryn's been holding steady at 25lbs for the past 8 months now. Aiden also loves to pull himself up to standing postion when he grabs onto your hands. He's loving' the jolly jumper now (it's just hard to keep Eryn away from him when he's in it...she keeps wanting to push him...but she's too much like her Daddy, so NO WAY! That's a 'high-supervision' level activity)

 

Regarding the rest of the Photo's :

 

There's one of Eryn playing IN her Ikea toy storage unit.

Several of her eating spaggetti for the first time. What kid doesn't LOVE spaggetti????

A couple of Aiden with his Daddy.

A few of Aiden zonked out on his tummy.

Aiden playing with his spoon.

A good one of him showing a grumpy face...he doesn't smile & coo 100% of the time..only 95% of the time ;)

 

Thanks to my girlfriend 'sweetie Edie'! Enjoyed your blog

see ya tomarrow morning at the swap meet!!  Early Birds!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Took Eryn to Doc's yesterday, in an attempt to discover why she's coughing & hacking so much. Turns out she's got a touch of the croup. Doc gave me a prescription for solbutimal & pulmicourt, which require a nebulizer for administration. We weren't able to pick up all the equipment yesterday because you need a bloody credit card for the deposit.  :P

 

Before her Dr. appt. yesterday, we were at Oakridge Mall (which is right near my dr's office) where I could  let Eryn run & play a bit. There is a big carpet pit, there in the mall, for kids to run & play in...hey, at least it's inside where it's dry. She loved running around and chasing the other kids, and of course, being chased herself.

 

The mall was in the process of being 'decked out' for the holidays. Eryn found all the decorations pretty. They had the BIG xmas tree up and Santa's Place etc..  For a moment, a brief moment, seeing all that filled me with excitement, much as it did when I was a kid. BUT the only reason Christmas was my favourite holiday, as a kid, was because my mom made it so special for us. So instantly, I thought of my mom, and how Christmas was always her 'thing', she'd deck out the house, ceiling to floor, beautiful decorations, always lots of fun......

except this year.  Mind you last year really sucked too, at Christmas time, because my mom was in hospital...but at least she was alive, barely... 

So there in the mall, I started feeling really, really sad, and missing my mom something fierce, all over again, and again, and again. This year I plan to do absolutely NOTHING for christmas, I'm not in the spirit of it (thankfully the kids are too young to know the 'diff' anyways) I don't want to buy gifts (Gary won't mind that part), I don't want to get a tree, or put up decorations, or bake xmas cookies,  or go to the Santa parade, NOTHING.. least not for me anyways...

 It hurts tooo much. I know part of my response and attitude is due to my postpartum depression, but so be it, that's the way it is.....

I hope next year I'll have the heart & the strength to celebrate & carry on the traditions my mom did,  that made the holidays so special. But this year... it's just too raw, I don't even feel like I've had time to grieve her. Hurts too much. I'm sure Gary will have more hioliday spirit, & take kids to get their photo done w/ santa....

 

 

So, now to the 'crapiness' part...

Eryn was up again last night (4th or 5th night in a row, we've lost count) at 3am, coughing, hacking, crying, gagging. Gary took care of her, and comforted her and finally got her back to bed. When we got her up at 7am, we discovered she'd puked herself after daddy put her back to bed. Her hair was covered in crusty puke, as was EVERYTHING in the bed, including all her lil' animals. So FIRST thing in the morning I had to strip down her bed and bath Eryn. It took like 10minutes of scrubbing and rinsing to get the puke out of her hair. She was NOT a happy camper, to put it mildly. It took 2 loads of wash to clean everything in her crib. THEN I had to dress & feed both kids and pack them in the van and head to the drug store by 8:30am, this time WITH a credit card for the bloody  deposit. Got all the equipment and instructions and returned home. I got Aiden down for a nap, then had to administer Eryn's meds.....

Trying coaxing or convincing a 1 1/2 yr. old to put that freaking mask over her face and breath in the icky, nasty mist because it will help her cough,...uh huh...

I tried to make a game out of it, then I tried giving it to her teddy bear first, you know...'first teddy then Eryn's turn"  NOPE, She didn't fall for any of that. So finally I had to wrestle and pin her down and force the thing into her mouth (I was really hoping to avoid that). YIPEE.... we get to do this twice a day  <---sarcasm). Gary gets to administer it tonight.. HA

 

 

This was not a happy happy blog entry, my apologies to readers, but raising 2 kids under 2 and doing it by myself, probably 90% of their day, plus losing my Mom this year and throw in the Post Partum bit and you get a day like today.

My meds for the depression are helping a bit, but progress feels slow. I sure wouldn't wish this on anyone (the PPD) But wouldn't it be a touch of irony if Tom Cruise's wifey suffers from PPD when she has their baby ??

 

 

Here's a few pictures from this week. Eryn had fun crawling under Aiden in the saucer, and running circles around him (they were both laughing) Also a few pics of me & eryn...she already has that look...you know.....the  'sheesh mom, you're wierd'...look  see for yourself... 

 

P.S. Aiden has his second bottom tooth now. You can see them when he smiles, I'll try to get a picture of it.

 

We're going into Eryn's 3rd week of coughing. A few weeks ago, we all had a cold. Now 3 of us are over it, but Eryn is still coughing. We think it's become broncitis (I'm taking her to her doctor on monday...again). Last night (or early morning) she woke us up coughing & hacking & gagging.  We got her some cough medicine and had to wrestle her down to administer the medicine, half of which she forced out of her mouth and it ran down her neck into her sleeper, bright red & sticky. Yum.

So I changed her. She asked for a bottle & a cookie (cracker) I gave her that as well. As she was downing her bottle I could her her stomach churning as she coughed & drank. Sure enough, she puked all over my bare skin (yup, we still sleep in the 'buff') So oozing down my chest was warm milk, stomach acid and several big green loogies that she had coughed up and swallowed. yes, it was exceedingly gross, imagine the smell.

So I changed her again, cleaned her up and quieted her down finally. Whew, what a night.

 

Gary made his famous pasta on Saturday night. Takes him all day to make. We had his folks over for dinner. Eryn enjoyed her pasta and the company. She gave her Nana a 3 minute hug when she walked in the door. She's such a charmer.  We still had some sauce leftover to freeze  YUMMY!

 

I was trying to do laundry yesterday (a task which is NEVER complete) I just finished loading the dryer, then loaded the washer. I went to go turn on the dryer, and found my daughter had climbed in and was quite pleased with herself when she suprised me there. Luckily I was able to get to my camera fast enough. I also got a shot of her falling out of the dryer. Toddlers do the danrdest things, they're soo bloody cute. For example, I love the way Eryn says 'please'. She doesn't just say'please', she says' pleeeeeeeeeeeese' or , more correctly, she says  'peeeeeeeeeeees'  It's so cute how she emphasises.

 

Aiden Update::   Aiden now has 2 teeth coming in (on the bottom) and, to our excitement (you have to be a parent to appreciate this one) he's finally had his first real 'people poop', you know, more firm consistency, like a genuine terd, not just mustard mush anymore. It's all the squash and sweet potatoes and cereal he's getting. but BOY o BOY does it stink something fierce when they  poop out solids......  like I warned you, you gotta be a parent to appreciate it.  I also got a photo of him in his favorite sleeping position, on his tummy with his butt in the air....so cute.

 

 

Another weekend over. This week is music class, doctor, Ikea (i get to go buy something for the kids), hopefully some play groups and library story time. I should really get the kids out to White Rock and go visit some of my mom's old friends. I still need to make a trip to a monument place (out in S.Surrey), to pick out a tombstone for her grave. I won't be looking forward to that.   I miss her so much.  It will be very hard this holiday season.  Christmas was my mom's big thing. I won't be feeling very christmassy this year, maybe I'll try to celebrate it next year. I just want to imagine this one away, too painful, a reminder that it's almost a year since she died (shortly after NewYears). It's just not fair, excuse me while I go find some tissue.....

 

 

here's the photo's:

 

 

 

11-11-11

 

Lest We Forget

 

I have relatives that fought, & some died, in the Second World War, both American & Canadian. My Great Uncle Don was a Canadian fighter pilot (though if I remember correctly, he had to join the British Forces to become a fighter pilot) and was shot down & killed over France. My Uncle Bud (though old enough to be my grandfather) fought in Europe too, in a  U.S.tank division. Luckily, he made it home alive, and is still alive. He's told me some stories about his time there, even gave me some of his 'souvieners' from the war ( Nazi money, old coins that sorta thing).  Back in the 'good ol' days' when it was easy to separate good from evil. Good guys from bad guys, right from wrong. It was a long messy,bloody war, but at least you could point to your enemy and identify him. Today's enemies don't seem to have faces, they don't wear uniforms, they don't fight on battlefields. They just like to go blow-up themselves and as many innocents as they can.

Wow, how the world has changed....and yet it hasn't

 

Lest We Forget

11-11-11   11th hour, 11th day of the 11th month. Most folks should recognize the significance in that..right?

We remember what happend?...right? Why the war was fought? We remember what we were taught? What was learned, right????

Lest We Forget

Wow, hard to believe it's been a year since I saw my first baby being born.

It wasn't my baby (you can't really watch yourself having your own baby, unless it's on video)

My girlfriend Edie, gave birth to her daughter, Isabella, a year ago. now THAT was a looong night

(<wink> at Edie)

David & Edie had a party for Isabella's first birthday. The guest of honor did a great job  waddling around thru the crowd & kids on her birthday. My friends Jenn & Brian & their daughter Jullianna were there too. Julianna is tall enough to reach the food on the table, she was pretty proud of that! (some pic's of that below)

It was a fun party, Eryn wore herself out. Lots of photo's below of the b-day party.

 

 

Sleep deprivation is really taking it's toll on me. It's been nearly 3 years since I've slept properly & uninteruppted. I can't take it anymore. Aiden is still  breastfeeding and wakes anywhere from 1-3 times per night to nurse.

I'm trying to put an end to that. I've been feeding him meals during the day (sweet potatoes, squash, pears, cereal) then a thick pablum bottle at 10:30 at night. Surely he should be able to go more than 5 hours w/o food at night.

SO

We've been trying , letting him cry it out. We think his waking is more a habit now, than a need for food.

So, sure enough, 3am comes around and aiden's ready for his feeding.

Big suprise for him when it didn't come. We tried to sooth him, but that only made him mad. So we left the room and let him cry a few minutes and he finally fell asleep again. He woke up a couple hours later (this was 5:30am) I don't mind feeding him then, but I need at least 6 hours uninterrupted sleep. Even ear-plugs don't help when Aiden's crying (trust me, I've tried) So it's been a couple bloody looong nights. Thanks to Gary for letting me sleep in an hour longer this morning :)

 

 

Wow , a whole week goes by and no new entry...

what's up with that?

 

Well,

I've been wrestling with the idea of making this entry. It took me a few days to reach a conclusion.

As much as I'd like to deny it, and pretend it away, I couldn't anymore. I've finally gone to my doctor for help. After waiting lists and specialists appointments,  & diagnosis finally over, and I've had time to digest it myself, I've decided to share it, here, with my family, friends and readers,  mainly because then I don't have to deal with all the 'awww's & 'it'll be ok"s & mushy-mushy stuff like that, in person. (I'm not a super huggy-kissy person). I've been diagnosed with  'major post-partum depression' .  The good news is, things are already past the worse...I hope. I feel better now, than I did a couple months ago, or earlier this summer, HELL, the whole bloody year!!!  I've had this since Eryn was born in 2004, it was mild then. After Aiden was born, it became alot worse. Losing the #2 support in my life didn't help either (#1 spot goes to Gary). So basically, after 3 years of hell, things are starting to look up. Not that I'm trying to minimize what I've been going thru. It has felt like Hell. I'm just happy that I finally got help for myself. I had such a hard time doing that. I figured I was strong enough to handle it all myself. I had an inkling that this is  what I'd been suffering from, but was in strong denial. "I'm tougher than the 'baby blues' . I have 2 healthy ,beautiful kids, what do I have to feel crumby about?" Those sort of thoughts I'd battle on a daily basis. Well, they say you got to reach the bottom, in order to find the top, and since I was going that way anyways.....   hahaha

 

 

So, there ya go, I announced it to the world, right here in cyber-space.  I feel better. It's been such an invasive part of my life, I'd be denying myself if I didn't admit it to friends and family. So, no more denial now.

Besides, there is SUCH a stigma around PPD and Depression in general. NOBODY talks about it, really.

So, following in my mother's footsteps, as a 'ground-breaker'  (No, I'm not starting a campaign) Just speaking the truth and  adding my voice to help break  'the silence'.

 

P.S.  Aiden is getting his first tooth already. A bottom one is poking  out just above the gum now. (Eryn didn't get her first teeth until she was 10months old). Aiden's breatfeeding days may be numbered. We'll see what he does with his teeth.