Today is the anniversary of your death/passing.

It is now 2 years since you died. 

 

It FEELS 'like yesterday', as the saying goes.

It doesn't literally feel like it happened yesterday(and all the raw trauma/anxiety that went with that).

It feels more like it happened last week.

Like the realization and acceptance is there, 

(namely)

that I will not ever see your form again,

or ever interact with you in the same way again.

I will not ever again  get to hear your voice,  feel your hug, 

see you react/interact with my children, seek your council,

make you happy, share some tears

ever again.

 

And the 'permanence' of that is 'dawning on me' .

I don't feel 'stuck' there,

It's just the keenness of missing you, and your form, your presence, and all the trivial things that 'created'  your personality,

It still cuts pretty deep. My senses miss you.

 

I do believe that death is only the loss of the 'earthly' body,

so I know you aren't 'dead' in the sense that your spirit evaporated when your body died.

I believe you just exist in a 'form' that these senses, my body has, can't readily detect.

I can't 'see' you.

I'm the one 'stuck' in this 3 dimensional world, restricted by this physical body.

 

So I understand that my grief and sorrow stem from me missing your 'form'

and it's a good reminder that, in 'life', 'form' isn't what is important at all.

I don't miss your spirit, because I know your spirit, it always was intangible, and it still is.

What I miss is your form.

Your  smile,

the idiosyncrasies we share (as mother/daughter)

The way you'd always forget things in the silliest places.

I miss visiting you at home.

I miss talking to you on the phone, or planning outings together.

That, to me, is the toughest part of losing someone.

 

 

Here on earth, so much of our suffering stems from the belief that we are separate from one another (and all the subsequent thoughts that cascade down from that first initial thought).

The truth is, that the sensation of 'separateness' is only an illusion (yes, like 'the matrix') 

And before 'my' body dies, I hope to see that the 'separateness ' was merely a gossamer 'blind' drawn between this 3 dimensional world, and everything else.

It's a funny kind of irony that; this idea of 'separateness' we cling to, the same source of our suffering, is at the same time , something we cherish.

I enjoyed the 'separateness' of your existence, and all expressions of your personality. Like them or not, I miss even 'the bad'.

I miss the way your form expressed its illusion of separateness.

 

Your 'death' has sent me on some rather deep, introspective 'journeys'  (to use the cliche word).

I imagine that it's the 'secret' gift , from  the death of a loved one...the reflection and awareness it can ignite (if seen as an opportunity).

 

thanks mom

I love you always

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today was another 'mommy/daughter' day.

I know she misses going to daycare, and I don't want her to feel upset that Aiden is going instead of her. I want to be sure to make the days with mommy extra fun.

For our adventure today, I thought it would be nice to take her to see a real horse.

She's such a horse nut.

I met a woman/colleague (Marianne) of Gary's at his work Christmas party, she had a horse, and we chatted lots about what horse lovers talk endlessly about...horses.

I told her about Eryn, and she invited us to come down to 'southlands' sometime and see her horse.

I was able to arrange with her for today.

It was another (can't believe our fortune) sunny day in 'paradise' and a perfect day to go see horses.

 

Aiden was off to his first full day at daycare.

Eryn & I left before 10am.  Edie (and David was off work today) & her crew came too.

Isabella was so excited to see Eryn. Eryn was so excited to see the horses.

I was a bit surprised that her absolute enthusiasm for the horses went unfettered by their actual size. To a 35 lbs toddler, a horse is an absolute GIANT.

Eryn showed no fear, not even a flinch. She wanted to say 'hi' to all the horses, and pet the ponies too.

Marianne  had a horse named Dilan  (Eryn called him Diler) who was stabled next to a pony named 'Frodo'. Eryn loved how they nuzzled her.

All the stalls had open half doors, so the horses could stick their heads out into the aisle. Even the farrier was  there. Eryn was fascinated watching a horse gets its foot trimmed and a new shoe put on!

Marianne took Dilan out to the paddock to let him run around (she was meeting us, taking a study break and some ol' apples for her horse)

Eryn got to see her horse lay down in the mud and have a good roll. She was so excited and laughing that she was just vibrating.

I KNOW she will be talking about this morning , for months from now.

After having a good wander round all  stables and paddocks, Marianne put her horse back in his stall, and got her dogs from the car, and we were going to take a walk thru the neighborhood, to see more ponies.

There was little traffic in the area, so we got to walk all over the road.

We saw lots of ponies at  other stables, fabulous new homes being built (with horse stable naturally).

When Eryn saw the people walking in the street with the little ponies, her whining to be carried ceased, and she broke out in a dead run, for the ponies (got a picture of that one)

Indeed, there were miniature ponies on the road, one being led, the other pulling a wee lil' cart. They stopped and let us all see the ponies.

Eryn was darn near ready to climb up on 'sunny' as he was nearly her size. I had to stop her.

She really wants to ride a horse.

Shortly after that encountered, her energy quickly faded and I had to carry her the last 70 meters or so, so she did pretty good for such a long walk. We said our goodbyes, and while everyone else left, we stayed in the car and had our lunch together before heading home.

Needlesstosay, my lil' girl fell asleep on the trip home...guess the key to her napping is to completely exhaust her in the morning.

 

AND,

Marianne told us we could come back again anytime, AND she told us the southlands riding club has 'pony parties' on some of the holidays, It's like a pony 'show' and the kids and pony's dress in costume, and play games, and do little races etc..  raise money for the club and so on.

We'll be sure to check that out as well!!!!

 

 

 

 

Another busy weekend gone by.

We had 3 days of sunshine (aside from the morning fog) so we tried to spend time outdoors, and enjoy the sun, mild temperatures and lack of snow or rain.

 

 

 

We also stopped by Nana & Papa's house on the walk home.

Nana was 'sitting' her  other grand kids then, so not only did we get to see her, the kids got to play with their cousins as well.

I also got a couple pics of the kids with Nana, Christian & Justin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yes...  'a.m.i.n.a.l.s 

she can't quite say: animals...it's still..aminals

On our second mommy-daughter day I decided to return to the Aquarium.

Eryn insisted on bringing a pony with her to the Aquarium. I said 'ok' because I assumed it would be a 'lil pony' but when we walked out the door , she was carrying her big stuffy named 'goldie', and she won't fit in any pocket. I told her she had to take good care of her, and not get her wet and dirty. She said; she promised.

So, mommy, Eryn and Goldie met up with Edie & her 'crew'.

I can say 'crew' now , because she too, is mommy to 2 kidlets.

She brought the father of her children too, his name is David

I can't say; 'her husband' because they're not married. And I don't like saying 'partner' because that seems to imply homosexuality. Maybe 'spouse'? 

It was fun seeing David too. Eryn has such a crush on him. She gets : "all shucks'-like when he pays attention to her. She just gushes, it's sooo cute to see.

And, when he shared his hamburger with her at lunchtime...she was so overwhelmed, she could only whisper -'thank you david'.

He must have his magic way of making her feel special, because she's drawn to him like a magnet.

 

We passed by the giant pacific octopus , on our way to the brand new 'exploration centre'.

I've never seen that octopus that lively before. Usually you have to hunt for it, in it's habitat, it's so well camouflaged. But today, it was all over the tank, back and forth, as if it was dancing. Eryn decided it was a nice octopus. I got a couple great pic's of that.

 

Then it was off to the new addition. They had a very stimulating play area for kids 8 & under. It's sectioned off well, so you can let the kids explore on their own, from a good vantage point. Inside was a baby seal 'vet centre' where the kids could 'x-ray' the baby seal, check it's heart, weight  it, etc. Very cute. Eryn likes playing doctor to aminals...she LOVES her aminals.

 

I let her lead me around  most of the time. I'd ask: What animal do you want to see now, Eryn?

she'd say:  umm....let's go see sea otters

So, off we'd head, to watch the sea otters.

next:

What animal would you like to see next Eryn?

I want see Baby be-uga.

Off to the beluga habitat.

 

The new jellyfish display was amazing too. Eryn was hypnotised watching them float and glide thru the water. She said they were 'pretty flowers' .

 

After lunch, Edie & crew had to head home for 'naptime'.

Since Eryn doesn't really have those anymore, we stayed longer.

We were at the dolphin habitat, when we saw all the camera crews setting up. The aquarium was readying to make a public news announcement.

They announced their pacific white sided dolphins are ready to become a family. The female is pregnant, and due to have her baby dolphin this summer.

We also got to watch a dolphin training session..not part of a show. It was neat watching the trainer trying to teach a new behaviour.

I was explaining to Eryn. And told her she was already knew how to 'go around' when told to, and that was what the trainer was trying to teach the boy dolphin. She thought that was funny, that he kept pushing the girl dolphin out of his way, instead of learning to just go around her.

 

It was nearly 1:00 when I realized we'd better leave, if I didn't want to risk a parking ticket. Eryn was quite clear in communicating she was not ready to leave yet.

I negotiated with her, and told her she could toss a penny into the wishing pool, where the big orca was. (which is in front of the aquarium)

She was quite willing to do that. thank goodness I had an ample supply of penny's I'd been carting around with me.

We made a wish for every person she could think of...including some of her ponies...of course!!

 

Another delightful day with my big girl. I put the photo's of our adventure, in the photo album , above.

Again, I find aquarium pictures to be some of the most challenging to take...mainly because my main subject, Eryn, will always have her back to me while looking at the fish, plus the light factor, tricky shooting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've been reading alot of David Hawkins lately.

I'm happy to say it's 'rubbing off' on me.

He is an incredibly profound writer, and such an inspiration to read, that I had to cut and paste this quote from his book, that I was reading last night:

"The Eye of the I"

 

"People see themselves as victims of their stream of consciousness
or feeling states and transitory circumstances.This succumbing
to 'it' (the mind) and 'out there' (the world) is accepted as
natural and normal. Few people suspect that there is actually any
option. By self examination and inward focus, one can discover that
all states of consciousness are the result of the execution of an
option. One is not really ruled by the mind at all. What the mind
reveals is an endless stream of options, all disguised as memories,
fantasies, fears, concepts, etc. To get free of the dominion of the
mind, it is only necessary to realize that its parade of subjects is
merely an arbitrary cafeteria of selections wending their way across
the screen of the mind. The mind is like a television set running
its various channels for selection, and one does not have to follow
any particular temptation of thought. One can fall into the
temptation of feeling sorry for ones self, or angry, or worried. The
secret attraction of all these options is that they offer an inner
payoff or secret satisfaction which is the source of the attraction
of the mind's thoughts.
If these payoffs are refused, it will be discovered that, at all
times, behind the thought screen, there is a silent, invisible,
thought free space of joy. This is an option that is always
available, but to be experienced, it has to be chosen above all
other tempting options."

-David Hawkins

 

 

Aiden had  his first (almost) full day daycare experience.

My house is soooo quiet.

It was just mommy & daughter today, and we tried to pack in as much FUN as we could.

 

Last night I promised her that we'd go 'chase birds' today at Granville island.

The fact that we have ANOTHER rainfall warning in effect today didn't stop me.

 

After dropping off Aiden (he went straight to the marble maze once released from his coat)

We went to visit my girlfriend Onida (in N. Vancouver). She's got twin boys about Aiden's age  (do I ever sympathize with her). She has a couple days off work this week, while her husband is finishing an artist project which happens to be at the school just 2 blocks away from me (small world). It was nice knowing that I'd actually get to SIT and enjoy her delectable Rooibos tea and fresh made cheese biscuits, because Eryn is a 'big girl' and listens to mommy.

She was sure sweet with Evan & Shae  (wish she was that nice to her lil' brother) and they were certainly enjoying her attentions.

At one point all the kids wanted to try the yummy tea. And they took the mugs too. It looked so cute, them sitting down, all grown-up like, with the coffee mugs.

Onida's husband built a clever lil' drawing cub-by under their big desk. I got a picture of Eryn in there drawing. Very clever use of space!

 

It was time for the twins to have their naps, so Eryn and I headed downtown to Granville Island.

A nice bright spot in the clouds hovered over Granville island for us, keeping the rain away while we were there.

Eryn was squealing with delight at chasing the seagulls and pigeons. She loved how they flew around in a big circle and always came back.

She loved chasing them, and watching them fly away. LOTS of pics of that.

We wandered thru the indoor market for a bit, looking for something yummy to eat.

Then we walked over to the 'kids only' market. LOVE looking at all the toys there, too bad it's ridiculously expensive. Granvile Island is full of one of a kind artisan shops. Eryn discovered the wonders of window shopping, as we stopped and looked inside every window we passed, to see what they were making inside. Her favourite was the shop that sold all the dragon and fairy paraphernalia, and the glass artisan shop, with all the beautiful delicate things. In all that walking we did, she was was determined to jump in EVERY single puddle we crossed. Luckily mommy had her waterproof shoes on too   (it is vancouver after all) so I got to jump in most of them with her.

We finished with a stop at the gelato cafe, directly under the Granville street bridge.

Eryn ordered 'chocolate' of course.

Then we finally headed home, for some quiet time, before picking Aiden up later.

She doesn't nap anymore, but I seem to be able to enforce some 'quiet time' without much fuss from her.

 

I'll post all the new pic's from our adventure, in the large photo album above.

 

 

 

 

At least in the area we live, all traces of snow have been washed away by the winter rain we are accustomed to.

I relish it's return

because with it come the warmer temperatures too.

Yes, I know it's dark, and wet here in the winter....

but it's also warm and snow free.

 

Once you accept the perspective of:

how MANY times will it rain today?,

instead of;

WILL it rain today?

And you dress appropriately..it's not that big of a deal.

I do still feel a need to get my kids those 'muddy buddies' from mountain equipment co-op.

they are head to toe, one piece,  zip on, rain overall.  Easy simple, and straight into the rain boots..and you're ready for outside.

Just need to save up to buy them.

 

Last week I made an executive decision, and will be putting Aiden into daycare twice a week instead of Eryn.

He's just too much for me to look after by myself, everyday, the whole live-long-day. He just doesn't stop..unless he's confined to the highchair..and even then he will try to escape the confines of that, trying to rock the highchair back and forth by throwing his weight.

Needlesstosay it sends me running, because he COULD flip himself right over.

 

Today, to aid him in the transition, I brought them both to 'Chris's' place, to re familiarize him with it, and the other kids, so that tomorrow, it will still be fresh in his memory.

It will be his first day in daycare. I'm even sparing him the first morning trip to the school, and will drop him off once Chris returns with the kids from morning school drop off...but Thursday will be his first FULL day.

Eryn & Aiden's cousin Justin is now using the same daycare facility. We  (Gary & his immediate family)all seem to live within a few blocks from each other.

The kids loved seeing their cousin there, and as Justin is new there, I'm sure it made him feel more comfortable too. Thank goodness Chris has a ton of toys, because Aiden explored every bin she had, before 'King Kong-ing' all over the older kids' toys they play with.

Chris is really consistent at teaching the kids to clean  up one toy before moving on to the next...

heehee

Aiden will keep her on her toes teaching HIM that one!!!

He  reminded me of the 'Tasmanian Devil' from looney tunes.  Just rip-roaring around the room, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake

Well, for tomorrow...better her than ME.

 

Eryn and I will go 'a-visiting'  and out and about., just mommy and daughter 'hitting the city'

If it clears up for a bit. We may go to Granville Island and chase the pigeons. Always great photo-op's there.

 

I had a nice bit of synchronicity happen today.

I've been scratching my brain trying to come up with a regular 'something' to do with the kids on a Monday and Wednesday, that would give me a slightest break. I had a friend looking up some resources for me. She even suggested Crabtree Corner, which is supposed to be an awesome daycare, for emergencies, or for 'crisis' type need. They charge nothing  (it's thru the YWCA) and even mommy's desperately needing a mental break from mothering qualifies as a 'crisis'

So, it's god to know, that if I really, really really felt stuck, I could have my kids looked after for the day. There are a few 'hoops' to jump thru to get the service...but I've jumped thru higher hoops.

 

So, after this well placed friend called and gave me the info she could on resources available..

I decided to mull over my choices...

when returning from our 'rehearsal' at Chriss', there was a message for me from the support group I'm in  (long story).

and there's now a regular weekly spot for me for counseling sessions AND the facility has child minding services. AND the counseling is a bargain deal. So, without too much sweat or worry on my part..a weekly Monday break is now available to me, a WEEE break, but still a BREAK !!!

 

Now..for a Wednesday break....just another small wee break on Wednesday..and my week will be 'manageable' again.

 

I took some photo's of the kid's at Chris's, playing with their cousin Justin (perhaps a couple other faces from the daycare too)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday morning reared it's head with the sound of the phone ringing.

Grumpy Gary answers the phone..

who could be calling at this ungodly hour of the morning?

My girlfriend Edie

Calling to let me know she was leaving her house shortly.

We were planning on meeting at the swap meet..for the 'early bird'.

I had about 20 minutes from waking up, actually setting a pot of coffee to brew (have only had about 3 cups of coffee since Jan. 1st)

get myself dressed and awake to leave.

Had my coffee 'to go' and headed out to cloverdale, where the metropolitain's  biggest swap meets are held.

I had to laugh when I arrived, because I got there before she did.

HA

David was there too,  (he's a cloverdale swap meet virgin)

The four of us headed for the line up (Edie had baby Everett in the snuggly)

and  *ding*

9am

time to start shopping.

I only had a couple things in mind to keep an eye out for. Edie & David were looking for BIG hauls  (she setting up a mini daycare in her place) So they needed some 'supplies'

 

I had to snap a pic of Edie putting Everett into the snuggly, because they were both wearing brown hoodies..so Mama Bear and Baby Bear together, ready to shop.

David was the 'point man' 

Edie pointed at things, he'd buy them and take them out to the car.

I found a couple awesome deals.

I got an enormous bag of discovery toys Marble Maze (only $10) a BAG of 'my lil ponies' for Eryn  ($5)

a lil' ride 'em toy for inside  ($4) and best of all:  a 'hip hammock' brand new (only $4)

(I'm thinking maybe the hip hammock thing might be useful for Aiden, as I still end up carrying him around a bit, so I don't have to chase him) and even if it doesn't work out..HEY  it was $4...big deal.

The hip hammock is a cross between a snuggly and a sling. Allows you to carry your child on your hip.

 

 

I returned home by lunchtime.

Gary had the kids outside, on the urban trails (dog in tow too) for nearly 2 hours.

I asked him how it went.

He said he was exhausted. Apparently Aiden would run one way, while Eryn was still going the other way. And if Aiden didn't want to go the way he was asked too..he'd throw himself on the ground.

Was it easy? NOPE

he was needing a hot bath by the time I got home, and having to carry Aiden a bit  (until he'd cooperate) put his back out.

On top of that was the dog yapping because he wanted to be played with too.

(poor Gary...welcome to my world)

 

The kids Loved the marble maze, and there are SOOOo many pieces we could create 3 or 4 huge mazes..lots to share..no fighting.

Now we just need some extra marbles.

Eryn loved the ponies I brought home too. Even in the evening she crawled up on my lap and gave me a hug and kiss and thanked me for buying them for her. She even recognized 2 of the ponies from her 'my lil pony storybook collection'

 

After the naps  (yep after nearly 40 minutes of sobbing and fighting it, Eryn finally dozed off for a bit)

We headed to my girlfriend April's place.

They just moved before Christmas and have finally had their house warming party.

Since she's back at work full-time, I don't get to see her as often as I'd like.

They found an awesome place in North Vancouver  (yep, lil' bit jealous here, but SO glad they found such an awesome deal)

Aiden wore himself out playing on the stairs.

Eryn discovered that lil' Rowan had a 'my lil' pony ' too...

But both the stairs and pony paled in comparison to getting to play with one of Rowan's big brothers  (Brenner).

Aiden was 'attached at the hip' to him. He kept hugging Brenner, and laying his head on him. And when Rowan saw that..lil baby jealousy..so she had to be all over him too. Then Eryn had to see what the fuss was about..and before he knew it, he had 4 'babies' crawling all over him.

I told him he was a real 'babe magnet'.

I was glad I got to see the boyz too. April has the most delightful sons. They are so well behaved, polite, respectful,engaging, kind and all around FUN. I'll be sure to ask her for tips when I need them..because she sure raised them well. Boys that age (like 9 and 11) are often obnoxious, loud, sometimes rude, even disrespectful  (I would know, I sure taught lots of them)

Her sons Daniel and Brenner sure break that stereotype..Rowans a lucky lil' sister.

Gary & Patrick  (April's man) had lots to chat about ..both IT professionals  (aka: computer nerds)

Time went by too quickly, and we had to leave....get back home for dinner.

 

I got a few photos of Eryn and Rowan,  Brenner and the 'babies' and a couple of me & April.

 

Upon returning home, a quick dinner..more marble maze play

and then off to bed.

 

 

I picked up David Hawkin's second book from the library on friday.

Reading it is sure helping me overcome the anger and frustration and exhaustion I've been feeling the past few weeks.

Getting a bit of 'down time' on the weekend helps too.

But mainly it's his explanation of the root of 'suffering'  and how we inflict it upon ourselves.

Hawkins second book in the series I'm reading, is called:

"The I of the Eye, From Which Nothing is Hidden"

(the first book is called "Power vs Force")

(I skipped ahead and read the 3rd in the series already, called "I: reality & subjectivity")

 

Look forward to what the rest of the weekend brings.

Least the kids snot, cough and fevers are all but GONE.

Heeeeeeres the pics:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seems I've been in a 'slump' the past few weeks.

Post-holiday blues? perhaps?

Dark days of winter taking their toll? maybe?

 

It's probably a combination of things.

This month is the anniversary of my mom's death.

THAT's a big one.

My new year's resolution to cut back on caffeine...maybe a contributing factor.

The kids driving me nuts..is a BIG one too.

 

 

I think about my mom everyday.

But lately, I've been dreaming about her a lot too. Often sad dreams.

As my daughter is blossoming into a 'big girl' it makes me acutely aware of how much my mom has missed out on. She's at an age to be a grandmother's treasure. I torture myself imaging all the things my mom would do with her, were she still alive. I ponder how much she would absolutely adore her, and never get enough of her, and spoil her  (as is the grandparents right) It's painful. I really miss her. It feels so unfair.  It fills me with grief.  I miss her form.. The grieving continues....

 

My second major source of frustration: 

Unless you have two, young, mobile toddlers, and next to no support.., ..then it might be difficult to truly comprehend.

I decided I can't do 'it' anymore. The SAHM thing is just too much for me anymore.
I'm ready to return to work FULL TIME

Yesterday I went back the the school board office I work for and applied to every posting I qualified for.

I need to get outta the house and away from the kids.

Three years of full time mommyhood has taken it's toll.

 

Until I get a teaching contract, I've decided to switch the daycare schedule.

I did have Eryn in daycare twice a week. But as of IMMEDIATLY

it will be Aiden going twice a week.

Eryn seems more manageable than Aiden these days.

 

I was at the 'play pit' at the mall yesterday, with Aiden, for maybe 40min.

That took the last of my energy for the day.

I wasn't able to sit and enjoy watching him play..

I had to be his shadow.

If he wasn't climbing up something so high that it posed a danger to him, he was pushing other kids outta the way trying to climb stairs, or if they didn't move he'd scream bloody murder at them.

Unable to 'wait his turn' to climb something, he even tried to sink his teeth into the leg of the child whose turn it was.

And, if he wasn't doing all of those things, he would try to run out of the play area...always a fun game to have Mommy chase him with no shoes on.

That was just the one child.

So,

for obvious reasons, I will not take both kids out to something like that anymore.

If Eryn was there too, I'd need to watch her, that she doesn't push, takes turns, and plays 'nice' as well.

They both seem to be at 'that age' at the same time.

I can not take them grocery shopping together anymore.

They fight and scream when side by side in the shopping cart. Hitting, pushing, pulling hair, trying to bite each other.

It's pure insanity.

 

Aside from the two 8 hour breaks I get while one is in daycare.. I have them BOTH, all day, all by myself...the 2 daycare days dont feel like enough anymore. the days inbetween, when I have them both the whole live long day with no breaks at all (can you say NO naps?) feel like the ultimate test in saintly patience...which has long since run OUT.

For a perfect example, my next post will recap my wednesday with the two kids and the pure insanity of that day.

Having a migraine for a week now, hasn't helped an ounce...DUH 

 

Looking forward to the spring

hopefully by then

the depression will lift again

going back to work would help too

or more support....like THAT's gonna happen

HA

HA
HA

 

what is support?  can't really recall......

 

 

 

Here in 'vancouver', we live within a stones' throw to the 'skytrain'  (our above ground 'subway')

We either drive under it, beside it  or hear it on a daily basis.

I've taken Eryn before, a couple times, on the train, but I've NEVER taken them both..for obvious reasons.

 

Our family outing today

was the skytrain.

Aiden loves the train, he can say 'ky-tain'  (skytrain)

We figured it'd be a good way to entertain them and burn a few hours off the day.

We headed downtown  (where the skytrain really does become a subway)

then eventually we crossed to the seabus  and took the passenger ferry across the harbour to our beloved 'north shore' (north vancouver)

 

Both kids were extremely excited.

They'd been driving us nutso in the house, with the whining, crying, fighting, screaming..etc...

but once we boarded the train, they were both stuned into silent AWWWW

It was great.

They loved it.

(if you dont know 'skytrain' it's completely automated...so there's NO driver. You can sit in the very front and get a 'drivers view')

Eryn kept saying how small the cars were (way below us on the roads).

She'd yell and wave at every train we passed, and all the people on the platforms waiting to board.

Providing lots of comic entertainment for those within earshot.

 

Once downtown, we boarded the seabus  (a 15minute ride across the harbour)

They loved that too.

Eryn was yelling at all the ducks and loons to 'get out the way, here we come'

The seabus docks at the Quay, which is a public market.

We strolled around inside, looking at the flowers, all the fancy treats, and fruits, and food.

There's even a small play area  (slide w/ ball pit) for the small kids to play in.

We had a snack

and headed back

another 15 minutes on the ferry, then back across town on the train.

 

I got some great pics  (put them in the photo album above)

Once back at the car  (WAY too cold to walk to the nearest station), it was dark, the kids were SPENT, and it's nearly bedtime.

We indeed managed to finish off the day, with the one lil' outing.

I even got some gorgeous city skyline shots at sunset

(YES we have had nearly 3 days of SUNSHINE, accompanied by bitter cold temps..but HEY  it is winter after all)

 

Enjoy the pics

We're getting ready to enjoy a QUIET evening

sigh

YAY

 

 

 

 

Aiden had his second 6month appt with the orthopedic specialist at children's' hospital yesterday.

Six months ago we were there.

The 'Doc' spent a total of MAYBE 5 minutes with us last time.

He looked at Aiden's legs, watched him walk maybe 15 steps, then said come back in 6 months, and left.

Yesterday was like a deja vu

He saw us for MAYBE 5 minutes 

looked at Aidens legs

watched him walk maybe 10 steps

and said come back in 6 months

I tried to explain to him that his father and both his uncles had to have corrective 'boots' put on.

I told him how we nicknamed him Boo-boo because he falls so frequently.

I told him how he's waddling when he runs now, to compensate for the toe-in

and that when he tries to turn around quickly, he often falls.

 

All he said was, come back in 6 months.

Now, this Doc is OLD

Gary's mom said it was actually the SAME doc that treated both him and his brother for the same thing.

And, me thinks that perhaps he's TOOO old, and just lining his pockets  with these ridiculous visits.

I'm not at all satisfied with this 'docs' assessment.

So, we're returning to our family Doc today, to get a new referral.

At hopefully a different hospital

(I know how hostipals operate and they are jsut as political as 'government' builings and the 'politicians' that fill them)

 

I refuse to wait another 6 months to be told to come back again.

I know that this problem is best corrected early.

I don't want him ot be called Boo-boo for the rest f his life.

 

When Aidens' legs are together, and kneecaps pointed to the ceiling...

his  toes overlap..sure sign of a 'toe-in'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our night routine with Eryn is pretty standard:

after dinner, there's;

 the bath,

'jammies'

a last drink

then off to bed with a pony story.

 

Usually it's Gary that puts her to bed and reads her, her story 

(as by that time I'n DONE with the kids and Aiden is such a cinch to put to bed)

Once the story is over and nighty-nights are said, the door is closed and she's told to stay in bed.

unless she's completely exhausted

she's usually outta bed a few times until it finally 'sticks'

what we both find so funny, and can't help ourselves from giggling  (which we know only encourages her)

but she'll take  ALL her lil'ponies  (she's got 6 of them now) and her drink and her soother

and quietly open her door, come out, quietly close her door behind her, then ever so quietly

baby step by baby step, creep closer to the open door of our bedroom (where we retreat to once the kids go to bed)

then she'll wait for us to spot her there, and promptly return her to bed.

What's so hilarious

is the way she has her hands full

she'll collect all her lil' ponies by the tails, and clench them all in one fist,

then carry her drink and her one lil pony that she cut the tail off, in her other hand.

We crack ourselves up, because we keep wondering...

where does she think she's going with all those?

does she think she'll get to play with them in our room?

is it just that she can't bear to be away from them even for a moment ?

and the MUST accompany her?

Does she think she's going on a trip?

I wonder what goes thru her head.

 

she'll usually do this whole thing at least twice, often 3 or 4 times 'til she stays in bed.

tonight I managed to get a quick photo of her

with the 6 ponies and the whole entourage

 

What surprises me ,

is that she ALWAYS comes straight for our room

she doesn't sneak out the the living room, or to the 'fridge' or to Aiden's room

(my mom used to say that when I did this, I used to go straight for the fridge and into the ice cream (we had the freezer on the bottom)

and it took my mom a while to figure out why my arms would be so sticky every morning.

heehee

 

not my girl

she makes a B-line for US

sooooo bloody cute though

see for yourself:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eryn's been sick since the weekend

Hopefully yesterday was the pinnacle, though today she's still feverish  (so no daycare today)

At least drugging her with 'tylenol cold' for kids, encourages an afternoon nap.

Did I mention she's abandoned her precious naptime?

Over the past couple weeks, naptime's been progressively more difficult.

She finally declared last week, that she doesn't want to nap anymore.

Even at her daycare, she napped 20 minutes maybe, then got up, started singing and dancing until she woke up the rest of her friends who were napping (they all nap together in the 'nap room')  Chris told me this  (her daycare lady).

 

I am not ready for this transition yet.

I loved the naptime, especially when they would both nap simultaneously.

meant I got a 'lunch break'

 

Aiden, of course, still naps, and probably will for some time to come yet  (he LOVES his sleep, and has always been a good sleeper)

So, while today she's not at daycare, least I still get a weee lil break in the afternoon.

 

 In other matters:

I've been looking at getting a table & chair set for the kids.

I've looked everywhere

but I've not liked the 'sets' that they sell at toysrus, zellers, ikea, sears, walmart, stupidstore..anywhere I've been.

Mostly it's the chairs. They're all straight backed, and very easy to tip over. I know my kids, and I don't want to deal with any head injuries as a result of falling or being pushed over on their chairs.

As well, usually the table size is so small that  once you have the paper, colouring books and crayons out, there's zero room left.

well

I've come up with a solution

Amy style 

 

I went to home depot and found a piece of wood that I thought would make a good size table.

I also found the hardware for the  table legs etc.  I'll just get my father-in-law to saw the table legs to the right height, and  voila!

a perfect toddler table with plenty-o-room for crafts, food, drinks, elbow room, and enough space so they can sit at opposite ends without being able to grab each others stuff. (I've even contemplated 'jig-sawing' a hole in the middle where I can put a container for crafts, like a recessed bin for crayons etc..instead of them rolling all over the table...but maybe later)

 

then, for the chairs..

I was hunting for some preschool style chairs, with the chair legs angled backward, to provide the extra stability.

You know, the industrial style, institutional chairs, they're 'bomb proof'.

I've looked for months, to buy them second hand, but no luck.

After doing the 'googling' I found a local company that provides 'institutional furniture'

They sold me 2   brand new 12" chairs, stack-able, bombproof, stable, strong preschool chairs   (even Santa could sit on these).

They are currently a bit big for the kids, but these chairs will fit them until they are 6 or 7.

Then I can sell them second hand, and probably still get half my money back.

For what the 2 chairs cost me, I could have gotten 2 chairs and a table from Ikea...

but in a year or 2 I kow I'd be replacing those anyway.

I wasn't able to get matching chairs  (unless I waited to order them, and I would have had to wait until a large order was placed..they don't make money off of the sale of 2 wee lil chairs..)

but I could care less, aside from the color, they're the same  (one navy one cream)

 

My project for the week, is to get the table assembled now.

For the moment, the kids can use the chairs at the coffee/play table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SO

 

we've begun potty training Eryn  the past week.

It's been an excercise in patience, to say the least.

Eryn's progress is good, but what's been frustrating is Aiden's behaviour while I'm with Eryn on the potty.

He really climbs into trouble when I'm busy with her in the bathroom.

SO

One day this week, while busy with Eryn on the potty, I return to the living room, to see Aiden looking right at me, meaningfully, and grunting.

OH

you have to poopy too?

I took off his diaper  (already soiled)

and brought him to the bathroom too.

Eryn was on the 'big' potty, so I put Aiden right beside her, on the lil' baby port-a-potty.

As soooon as I sat him down, he starts pushing.

he pee'd, then pushed harder and poo'd more too.

 

So there for a moment I had both kids on potty!

OMG

could it be possible?
could it be true?

could I really potty train them both TOGETHER????????

 

I've heard so much 'advice' from so many parents...most warn that boys are 'harder' to train, they take longer, they start later, they're messier...etc...

 

I'm going to ignore all the 'advice' and continue training them both...

how much harder could it be than it already is?

least we have 2 potty's

 

We've tried Aiden on the big potty too, no problem.

He almost seems to be able to pee & poo on command.

so far, everytime we've taken him, he goes.

We've had fewer accidents with him, then with Eryn, so far...

 

I just can't believe my good fortune!

the idea that they could both be outta diapers together????????

one at age 2.75 and the other at  1.75 yrs????

HA

in your face!

all you parents who've told me, 'ahh...boys are so much harder'.

 

here's the pics:

 

aiden's so proud of himself on the big potty

even one of him flushing and waving bye-bye to the poo-poo.

so far I haven't been able to find any lil' boy underwear smaller than size 2/3. so he'll be swimming in his 'briefs'  for a bit.

but HEY

still better than diapers!!!!!!!!!!

 

(yes, we still use them at night and when away from the house...baby steps first)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had our 12th major storm in the past 2 months last night,

high winds finally pushed the snow/slush clouds away last night  (and blew down nearly 1/4 of the bakyard fence...again...)

leaving us with a bright, reletively dry saturday morning.

We only had traces of snow left in our yard,

but we figured that just up the mtn, there should be lots still,

so we packaged the kids in their snow suits, and went to the top of the mtn we live on.

There was plenty of snow at the top, but sadly not the type of snow fit to make 'snow angels'  much to Eryn's dissapointment.

HOWEVER

we did meet sis-in-law with her kids there, and they had sleds  (we gotta get a couple of those now too, sledding on plastic bags is tough on the derriere)

 

Eryn's been refusing her afternoon naps lately, so we figured a good snow workout would wear them both out for simultaneous naps.

It was actually Gary & I that got the workouts though, since the snow had an icey crust, they kids found it extremely difficult to walk in, so we ended up carrying them half the time..which is what really wore us out...boy nothin for the abs like hiking uphill in the snow carrying 30lbs.

 

But with the cousins sleds, we were able to double up and take turns down the slope.

Neither Eryn nor Aiden could get enough of it

Eryn even did a solo flight down the slope..she did awesome, even managed to hang on for the whole ride.

they were both crying when we began the trek back to the van, neither wanted to leave.

THANK GOD it was only a 5 min drive home

because the kids were beyond spent, they hit the whining exhausted state.

 

I'm glad we hadn't purchased sleds yet, because after seeing the variety of them on the slope..we know which one we have preference for, and they're on sale at costco  (yay)

 

I'm afraid both my kids  (who have shown no fear of trying anything new)  are both heading the way of 'adrenaline junkies'

 

here's a couple pics I got before my camera battery gave out:

there's also a coulpe shots of the view to downtown vancouver from the top of burnaby mtn.

 

 

Aiden's hair (what there is of it)

is so soft and fine  (and WHITE)

that it's barely visible

I couldn't help myself,

I put a bit of pomaide in his hair, just for fun.

and LOOK!

you can see it!

he DOES have hair!

 

mr. spikey

 

I'm still wondering if his hair will ever thicken and fill in

and actually GROW!

He'll be 2 yrs. old in May

lets hope he's got more on his crown by then

 

(he has come a long way since his birth , though,  when he more resembled  dr. evil  (see: austin powers))

 

 

 

I took a couple of pics of the kids

to show how fast Aiden is catching up to Eryn.

When they sit side by side, they're bloody well the same size. Seems Aiden's torso has 'caught up' , he's damn near the same size as Eryn.

Though when standing side by side, it's obvious Aiden's legs still need to grow a bit.

Imagine the summer...

He'll probably be as big as her then....

then they'll really look like twins

ouch

'cept one is still developmentally behind the other..

wonder if peeps will think I got one normal kid and one 'slow' one...  (they are only 13 months apart in age)

HAHA

 

 

sheesh

I WAS looking forward to this week

until I went out-n-about today

and realized that the kids are still outta school

which affects everything

the traffic, the stores, the line-ups, the crowds..UGH

I had enough of the during the holidays

now they're over and it's still mayhem..if not worse.

worse because so many of the activities and things I COULD do with the kids, I cant because those facilities are closed until the kids return to school (like the rec centre activites)

 

so, I'm really feeling trapped this week

and sooo frustrated..

because I was of the frame of mind: the holidays are over, everything back to 'normal'

then I go out to discover thats SOOOOO not the case

 

I must make a note to myself to remember this for next year

hopefully avoid the frustration

so, maybe next week things will return to normal

until then

I dont want to leave my house

if that means going out into

TRAFFIC

CROWDS

LINE-UPS

PARKING-LOT MADDESS

Rudeness

and TOOOO many bratty kids out and about

 

I"M DONE ALREADY

please please please, somebody make the holidays GO AWAY

they are officially OVER after all...

so

GO BACK TO WORK EVERYONE

(my husband did)

 

sheeeeesh